The Wallet Fiasco

Oh, do I have a humdinger for you. Yesterday's epic adventure:

After getting out of a meeting with my PA prof (Peterson, chair of Philosophy Department), I decided to do some massive indulgence and get some Taco Bell after running a few errands. So I parked my bike and went in.
And the guy at the counter was high on something. Maybe it was only life. But there was definitely something going on that made him able to perform his job but be incredibly, absurdly...outgoing, shall we say? I know that I'm "the second Rebecca [he's] messed with today" and his first girlfriend was named Becky. I also received a free soda. Yeah. Not my fault.
Anyways, I went from Taco Bell to my next class, not very far away at all. And realized about ten minutes later that my wallet had fallen out of my coat pocket - probably in my quick attempt to get away from Taco Bell so I could laugh hysterically without hurting anyone's feelings and escape the awkwardness that is a guy asking "So, what's your thought process right now?" in a vain attempt to score.
I had a few minutes before class, so I biked back over, scouring the ground as I went. No luck. I had to go into class panicking. Contacted a friend who lived nearby and asked him to go into all the restaurants and businesses asking if anyone had turned in a wallet. No luck. Then my phone vibrated. Unknown number coming in from Iowa. I had a hope, a prayer. After class, my voicemail sang out the "Hallelujah Chorus" to me. A nice TA in the Pyschology Department picked it up and got it back to me that night. La vie est belle!